Decisions: How do we know where God wants us?

Making decisions has always been hard for me.  So, you can imagine how hard the decision would be to make to continue at ECA for another year or to return to the USA.  My heart is in love with both places and I felt like I was making a choice between 2 very good options.  I would love to share with you my process of discerning what God plans are for me for the future.

Confirmation through Scripture: The question that kept coming to me was, "Lord, where do you want me?  Make your direction clear so that I know where you want me to follow.  My desire is to serve and follow you, God, so make that path clear for me."  For those that know my story, God has made that abundantly clear the past three years.  Three years ago, when God encouraged me to step out in faith and move to Colombia, the life of Elijah in 1 Kings were scripture verses that spoke right to my heart.  When I prayed about returning for the following years, the words of Esther spoke to my heart saying, "You were called for such a time as this!"

As Pastor Colin Smith recently told us in a sermon, if we want to know what God is telling us, all we need to do is read his Word!  This definitely was true for me as I served God here in Colombia these past 3 years.  I began to seek his Word again, longing for a clear message from his Word to guide me.  When a clear direction wasn't coming, I continued searching with a different focus in mind.  Maybe I was searching for too specific of details.  With as much as I desired to know specifically if God wanted me in Colombia for the next year, my detailed questions were met with silence.  The message I finally concluded that God was giving me was this:

"Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."   Joshua 1:9

You see, God was reminding me that he will use me wherever I choose to be.  No matter what ministry I get involved in or stay with serving, God will bless that choice and be with his children wherever they go.  It didn't matter if I stayed in Colombia, returned home to Chicago, or ended up some place different.  This verse released me from the fear of making a wrong decision and from feeling paralyzed from taking the next steps in deciding.  In a sense, God was asking me where I wanted to serve Him.  I still didn't know the answer to that question.

Looking for God's Fingerprints:
As I started seeking whether there was a longer future for me here at ECA, the opportunity was presented to me to go back to school and become an administrator for the school.  As I pondered what that might look like, I knew the school had a need and that I had to decide whether I was willing and capable of filling it.  While I love filling in a need that an organization has, I had never thought of myself as an administrator before.  I always saw myself in the classroom with the kids.  Knowing that I would probably never use this new degree in the USA if I returned, I decided that it wasn't wise to take on more student loans for a degree that I would really only use at ECA.  I decided that while it was a privilege to be thought of in this way, it was something I had to say no to.  God's fingerprints were not leading in that directions once I explored what it might look like.

Next, I was approached by my church to come home to complete about 2 years of training and then be re-deployed somewhere else as a missionary.  This would include training in church planting and would be using my Spanish knowledge.  While I am still processing this and need more information, I concluded that for the time being, I would like to settle back into a teaching job back near Chicago.

When I started exploring the possibility of coming back to the Chicago area, I decided to put my resume out to some of the school districts.  I also have talked with people at church about possible ministries I could get involved in if I was back home.  God's fingerprints were all over these conversations and opportunities.  I have had an interview with a school where God seems to be bringing together my Spanish knowledge and my passion for special needs students.  Also, I already see ways I can be involved back at my church in Chicago, which is a wonderful vision to have already.

"For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him."  2 Chronicles 16:9

Lastly, this whole last year I have struggled with being away from my family and close friends.  God reminded me when I left for Colombia that He alone is my provider.  At times when I would miss my family, Jesus would be there to help me deal with my emotions, feelings, and the sacrifices that I was going to have to make.  I learned that these family and friend sacrifices were worth it to be at ECA and this wonderful community of believers in Colombia telling them about who Jesus is.  I kept praying and asking God to let me know how long I am supposed to be sacrificing these precious people.  I prayed that he would make me willing to keep sacrificing my family and that my strong desire to live and be closer to my family would not be more important that following Christ.   After a lot of prayer, my desire did not go away but actually increased.  I believe that this is God's way of telling me that my true desire is to be back home and that my time at ECA is coming to an end.  This decision has been a difficult one.  Leaving the people I have loved for the past 3 years will not be easy.  Leaving the comfort and mission that I have poured my heart into these past 3 years makes me think I may not find anything else quite like what I experienced at El Camino.  But, I know that God's fingerprints are over my life, guiding me no matter where I go.  I am excited to see what is next.  With faith, I am moving forward to settling back in Chicago once more.

So, thank you to all of you who have supported me these past 3 years!  I will be sending out more information soon about how ending my time at ECA will look for those who have supported me financially.  As far as prayers, please cover my transition period in prayer and that I would end my last 2 months here well.  I want to finish the work God has for me here with faith.

Blessings,
Carrie

Jesus: Mighty To Save

In Elementary Chapel this week, we focused on Easter and what it really means for Jesus to die on the cross for us.  During worship, I wanted the kids to sing, "Mighty To Save" as we head into Easter Week.  The songs main focus is that Jesus can move mountains for us, and he was so mighty that He conquered death by rising from the grave for our sins.  I began to as myself: What is Jesus mighty to save ME from??

As I have walked my young Christian life, I am so grateful to look back and realize how different my life would be without Jesus.  He has saved me from selfishness, impatiences, pride, jealousy, fears about my life and future...the list goes on!  Sometimes I don't even realize the things He is still protecting and saving me from.  Jesus saved me from a life without meaning or purpose.  Jesus saved me from a life of not knowing what real love is.  He saved me from an eternal life of separation from my Heavenly Father who created me.

As we sang the song, the kids went to 4 different papers around the room and wrote one sin that they struggle with.  We talked about examples of things that are very common struggles for them: lying, cheating, being mean to a friend, disobeying...

As the song ended and their voices began to sing louder with me, we brought their papers to the front and taped them on a wooden cross.  I reminded them that because of the cross, we are forgiven from all of these things that we just wrote down.  Jesus was and is still mighty to save us from all of these sins!  This message just continues to give me so much hope,  We praised Jesus and thanked him for being our Savior and for being MIGHTY TO SAVE all of his precious children.

Mighty to Save:

Everyone needs compassion

A love that's never failing

Let mercy fall on me

Everyone needs forgiveness

The kindness of a Savior

The hope of nations!

Savior, He can move a mountain

My God is mighty to save

He is mighty to save!

Forever, Author of Salvation

He rose and conquered the grave

Jesus conquered the grave!

So, take me as you find me

All my fears and failures

Fill my life again

I give my life to follow

Everything I believe in

Now I surrender

Savior, He can move a mountain

My God is mighty to save

He is mighty to save!

Forever, Author of Salvation

He rose and conquered the grave

Jesus conquered the grave!

Prayers and Praises:

Pray that my students (and everyone reading this!) do know the message of salvation from Jesus and that they have willingly and openly accepted his gift that he offers on the cross.  Easter is such a great time to reflect on our eternal salvation.  

Pray for a team from ECA who just left for the Amazon!  They will be serving as medical missionaries to the Ticuna tribe who lives in the southern Amazon region of Colombia.  Please pray for strength and boldness as they share the word of God while translating between 4 different languages (English, Spanish, Ticuna, and Portuguese).

Pray for a safe trip home this coming week to see my new nephew!

Continued guidance as I am in the final steps of seeking God and making a decision for next year at ECA.  

Blessings,

Carrie

Bogota Birthday and 3rd Floor Celebration

My birthday weekend was filled with wonderful surprises and time with loved ones.  God has blessed me with many wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ that helped me celebrate.  My first surprise came back in January when I was unpacking from my visit home for Christmas.  My family had snuck in some birthday cards as a surprise for me.  Believe it or not...I waited until my birthday to open them :-0  Thank you to everyone who called, sent me a message, or spent time with me on my birthday.  I am so thankful for your friendship and your partnership in my ministry here in Colombia.  At a time when I am away from family, it really encourages me to be surrounded by all of you.  Here are a few highlights and blessings that filled my heart over my birthday weekend.  Praising God for his goodness to me and your warmth and friendship that you showed.

1. Birthday Phone Call with my birthday twin, Margo
It is always a highlight of my birthday to talk with my mentor and birthday twin, Margo!  I have never shared a birthday with anyone I was that close to until a few years ago.  We were able to connect with each other and catch up for our birthday.  She continues to be a blessing in my life and I am truly thankful for the time I got to talk with her on Saturday even with both of us having busy schedules.  Love you, Margo!

2. Dinner with my ECA friends
Many of my teacher friends at ECA came with me to dinner for my birthday.  We went to my favorite Italian restaurant in the local mall called Archies.  It just reminded me of what a great community we have here and I am so grateful that they were able to celebrate with me as my adopted family.  One of my closest friends here (and my roommate from the past 2 years), Brittney, remembered that my mom always makes me something with pumpkin in it for my birthday dessert.  Brittney is such a sweetheart and made me a dozen chocolate chip pumpkin muffins with delicious cream cheese frosting!

3. Party with my students and their amazing families
My students took me out of the city to an outdoor country club for my birthday located in a city called Sopo  It was so nice to be outside of the busyness of Bogota.  Warm air and sunshine made our afternoon great.  Many of my students wrote me the sweetest cards and blessed me with their warmth and gratitude.  During our prayer time, I shared with my group abut my decision process of coming to ECA and whether I would be staying for another year.  They know that I miss my family and they were so encouraging and reminded me that I have a wonderful Christian family right here in Bogota.  What an undeserved blessing!

 5. Birthday Night phone call with my parents:
I finally arrived home late from spending the day with my students.  But, a birthday is not complete until you get to talk with the people who love you the most and think about you the most on your birthday - your parents!!  It was a great way to end a special weekend.

 Prayers and Praises:
For the celebration of the opening of our 3rd floor at El Camino!  My students have really enjoyed using the new MPR, Art room, and Music room.  God has been so faithful to us and we wanted to celebrate and express our thankfulness to Him.  We had an all school assembly to celebrate.  Throughout the day, each class could go up and tour the new 3rd floor and write a note of thankfulness on a sticky note to add to the wall.  Praise God for whom all these wonderful new blessings flow.  Enjoy some pictures below!

Please continue to pray for my decision - it is really difficult!  I will be deciding within the next 2 weeks, since I will be enjoying a very quick trip back to the States during Easter Week (Spring Break) so that I can see my new adorable nephew.  I will be in Chicago from March 30th until April 4th.  It's a short time, just enough to spend time with my family and attend the Good Friday service at the Orchard.  I would like to decide before I fly :-)  Thanks for all of your continued prayer and support!  My heart is divided between 2 places and countries that I love.  Specifically, please pray that I would be able to discern the true desires of my heart and that they would align with God's will.

Blessings,
Carrie

Shepherding a Child's Heart

My desire is not just to work on the outward behavior of my students, but to care about the issues of their heart.  In elementary, we use the book Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp to help guide us as we seek to disciple and bring our students closer to Jesus.  I have been applying what I have been learning to help one of my students in particular.  The biblical principles in his book have helped mold my philosophy when I talk through situations with all of my students, but there is one situation where it has been really helpful.

"No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a had tree bear good fruit.  Each tree is recognized by its own fruit.  People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers.  The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.  For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks."   Luke 6:43-45

As I mentioned in my last blog, I have a student who is dealing with anger issues, violent behavior, and avoidance of work.  These are the outward signs of behavior that I am seeing and have been trying to manage these situations all year.  Lately, the behaviors have increased in quantity and frequency.  These issues are also coming from some family situations that she is having (feeling loved and accepted is part of the issue).  My special education background has been really helpful, allowing me to find some tools that will help teach my student how to handle the issues that are in her heart.

"But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man unclean."  Matthew 15:18

With the help of the 3rd Grade Team, there are some things we are implementing to help shepherd her heart.  The first is teaching her what to do with emotions when she feels SO angry at something that seems so little or insignificant.  I have talked with her about examples of when we might get angry at someone but what they did really didn't hurt us.  For instance, my little sister used to jump out from around the corner and scare me when we were kids.  This made me jump out of my skin and become so scared that I would get mad at her.  Due to my reactions, it made her want to do it even more.  My mom finally told me that if I could control my reaction that she would stop.  I also realized that I was getting mad at my sister for something that really wasn't hurting me.  After explaining this example to my student, she agreed that there were times where she would get angry over something so little.  We now have a thermometer in our room.  She can point to the thermometer when she starts to feel angry.  Then, she needs to evaluate whether the situation is a BIG deal or something small that she can actually handle by showing me a thumbs up or a thumbs down.  I will then respond with how I see the situation.  This will help shepherd her heart to realize the emotions that are so strong in her heart and how she can perceive them.

Also, we are adding in a social story to help her learn about anger.  I used these kind of stories when working with autistic children.  Using pictures and talking through social situations when they are NOT happening will help the child with processing the emotions and how to handle them.  I wrote a social story dealing with anger, adding in key points like how we feel or act when we are angry and how Jesus came to help us with these issues of the heart.  This story will be in her reading folder as a fluency story she can practice reading everyday.  Every child has story that they are practicing, so this is a way for her to read about anger and practice reading!

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."  Proverbs 4:23

Last, I am starting to have a special lunch with her once a week so that I am building in some positive attention time and relationship building time.  I am hoping that this will give her the attention that she is seeking and will again help in shepherding her heart toward Christ.  When I suggested this to my student, she was so excited that we had our first lunch date that same day :-)  Later that day when she left for the weekend, she came over and gave me a REALLY BIG HUG and said, "Miss Bergmann, I am really going to miss you!."  This just humbled me to my knees and made me so grateful for the work God is doing to help this little girl.

Prayers/Praises:
I am hoping to make a decision for next year by the end of March.  Please continue praying for me as I decide.  I am seeking discernment on what I want verses what God wants, and where those desires and passions match up :-)

We will be inaugurating the use of our 3rd Floor this coming Monday!  Everyone has been working really hard to get things ready for the classrooms to be used.  We are all so thankful to God for this blessing and provision.


For the sake of the gospel,
Carrie

Teachable Moments

I want to share with you some moments I have had recently with my students.  My favorite part of teaching is when something happens and you can teach them about Jesus and the gospel right there in that moment that God gave you.  With teaching, there is not always time to be able and talk one-on-one with students when these things happen.  God has graciously poured opportunities and a sense of availability these past few weeks to really talk with some of my precious students.

  1. I have been praying over a student all year who is struggling with friendships and learning how his past behavior has affected how his friends view him today.  There are areas of unforgiveness that have continued since kindergarten!  One day this past week, this student said a bad word in spanish when describing a soccer player and a few of his friends heard the word.  While he did not know what is meant, the student said that they did know it was a bad word.  We talked about what Jesus thinks about saying bad words and how we wants us to use our mouths that He created.  At first, this student seemed scared and did not want to admit that he really wanted to say it.  After encouraging him that we ALL have things we want to do but that may not be the best choices, he admitted that it was fun to say the word.  When he finally admitted that, I reminded him that that is exactly why we need Jesus!  God calls us to say encouraging things with our mouths because out of the heart the mouth speaks.  But, he sent us Jesus because he knows that our hearts are incapable of this without Him.  I could see the hope rush back into his face and we prayed and asked Jesus for forgiveness. What a teachable moment from God!

Here are some pictures of our Model Ear Science Projects!

2. Teaching my kids about realizing how they are treating each other when playing soccer has been a challenge.  Sometimes they get so upset when they play because someone kicked them or pushed them and they think it is on purpose.  They love to play jokes, but sometimes their jokes go to far and actually hurt another person without them meaning to.  God has provided many opportunities these past few weeks to talk with my kids during their Spanish class time so that we can talk through situations that happen when they are playing outside at recess.  I know God will use these individual conversations to bear fruit in their lives!

3. Getting to translate for 2 students who do not understand Spanish during our Health Classes with the school nurse was quite the challenge.  Translating is hard enough, but to do it SIMULTANEOUSLY while the nurse was speaking was even harder.  The students and I laughed as I tried to keep up and explain directions to them.  It was a great way for me to let my students see me using Spanish.  Everyday they are studying in a language that is not their first language and I sometimes forget how hard that can be.  We require them to speak in English while at school, but that seems like an impossible mission to some of my students.  The whole class smiled and seemed so grateful to hear their teacher translating and speaking Spanish.  What a teachable moment to make them loved and accepted for who God made them to be and be proud of the language God gave them.

4. I have one student from Korea who just started studying in English at ECA last year.  She has grown so much in her English and is such a joy to have in class.  Her personality is coming out as she is much more able to express herself with her new language.  During ECA Spirit Week, we had International Day where every class chose a country to dress as and celebrate that day.  I just had to choose Korea!!  My student had so much fun sharing about her culture and country with her friends.  She brought in many things to show them from Korea - dresses, silk clothes, masks, a mosquito/bug net, books, and a special Korean treat for everyone.  When she read a page in her book in Korean, my class sat so still just listening to her gentle voice read a language that they did not even know.  They all wanted her to keep on reading!  What a special opportunity to bring friends together and to understand each other more.  I am just so thankful to Jesus for the teachable moments of connecting with friends and the importance of learning about them and also celebrating our differences.

5. I have one student who has struggled with anger.  She has been laid on my heart heavily this week.  While her outward behavior has shown aggressive and power/control, I know there are deeper issues going on in her heart, partially related to her family situation.  While she has struggled this week (and have felt a heavier burden to do what I can to help her!!), I have also seen moments of what a sweet girl she is and the qualities of God that inside of her.  Being able to encourage her and tell her these qualities is helping me build a positive relationship with her.  My hope is in God alone to work in this little girls' heart.  

I was drawn to God's word where it talks about Jesus being the Good Shepherd in John 10 as I processed these situations and many more.  My desire is to cling to the Good Shepherd to help me guide and mold these young hearts for Jesus.  I take comfort in knowing that while my words or actions may not be perfect as I respond to them, my desire is to lay their burdens at the feet of Jesus and just watch him work :-)

"I am the good shepherd.  I know my sheep and my sheep know me - just as they Father knows me and I know the Father - and I lay down my life for the sheep.  I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen.  I must bring them also.  They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd.  The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life - only to take it up again.  No one takes if from me, but I lay it down of my own accord.  "      John 10:14-18  

Prayers/Praises
One of my students who has been struggling with wanting to wear her new glasses in front of her friends overcame her fear and started wearing them!  Thank you to all who prayed for her.

Joseph Michael Russell

Praise for the birth of my 3rd nephew, Joseph Michael Russell, born on Sunday, February 15, 2015!!  I can't wait until I can hold him :-)  My sister and all of her family are doing well.  Joshie and Sammy are so excited to have their new little brother.

Please continue to pray for my decision for next year and all of the factors that I need to be considering.  May God make it clear for me of what next year holds :-)

Construction on the 3rd floor is almost finished and we should be able to start using the new rooms by the end of this month.  Praise God!!

Please keep praying for the work God is doing in my students' hearts.  Some of them are struggling with family situations, feelings and emotions, and their behavior.  God is bigger than what they are struggling with.  Pray for patience and guidance as I shepherd their precious hearts for Jesus.


For the sake of the gospel,
Carrie

Healing and Comfort from the Body of Christ

 The Gospel Coalition - The Gospel In Colombia - Here is a great article about how the gospel is spreading in Colombia.  Clink on the link above (The Gospel Coalition - The Gospel in Colombia) to hear about how Colombian churches are reviving a true evangelical Christian walk in the hearts of their congregations.  This is very true of my church here.  I have met many people here who claim to be Christian, but having lives truly changed by the gospel is still in progress.  This helps to know how to pray for the hearts of the people in this country.

Body of Christ here in Colombia
1. My teacher aide, Erica, was such a blessing from God these past few weeks.  Teaching without a voice is REALLY complicated and stretched my teaching ability and methods.  Learning to communicate without my voice included having the students help say things out loud for me or writing on a mini-white board to explain directions.  This was quite comical to me and my students, to say the least.  What really helped save my voice was a version of co-teaching with my aide, Erica. I re-designed lessons where they were so structured into a powerpoint that I had to point and have her read what was on the board.  We worked really well together and this method helped get us through the day.

Erica also was such a blessing with keeping my classroom running because she has been with me for the past 3 years.  All of the routines and details that no one else would know (or it would take forever to explain to someone else) were kept in place which made the students feel secure coming back into their classroom from Christmas Break.  Having her help made it feel as normal as possible for the kids.   One of the many blessings of the body of Christ here at El Camino!!!

2. Our literacy coach in elementary, Glenda, ended up subbing for me many times these past few weeks.  Her servant heart was a blessing for me who has trouble asking for help at times when I really need it.  She offered to teach lessons for me before I even reached out and asked because she saw that there was need.  My first day back after a few sick days, I still had very little voice.  By the end of the day, I had none.  Feeling overwhelmed at what to do, Glenda came in at that exact time and offered to teach my social studies lesson (which has a LOT of talking and story-telling.)  After teaching for a few days, the school nurse made an appointment for me to go see a doctor.  By the time I got back to my room to start getting sub plans ready, Glenda was already looking at my science and writing lesson so that she could teach for me.  Another blessing from the body of Christ!!!

3. Rosa is our community care person at El Camino.  Her job is to make sure the missionary teachers are comfortable, help them with apartment repairs and other situations, paying bills, and taking us to medical appointments to help us translate and navigate the world of Colombian health care.  What a blessing that she went with me this past Thursday morning to my appointment!  The whole healthcare system is different here and I would have been lost without a guide to help me.  She also helped get me the right medicine so that I can start to feel better.  The doctor diagnosed a sinus infection and laryngitis caused by reflux.  The medicine for the sinus infection is very expensive, but the doctor was able to get some from the lab (probably free samples that drug suppliers give to hospitals) at no cost to me.  What a provision from the LORD that I have the medicine that I need at very little cost.  Another blessing from the body of Christ!!

4. My roommates, Becky and Annie, have been really sweet and offered to cook dinner without requiring me to help at all.  Maybe it was because they didn't want to get sick, but it was really sweet of them to allow me to join them without anything expected back in return. :-0

5. My students have been super sweet, quiet and obedient knowing that I didn't have a voice.  They were incredibly flexible with many changes as we started back at school.  After having been gone for 3 weeks for Christmas Break, their normal teacher and normal routines were not there.  Having me gone for 2 days, then back at school but not being able to teach, many different subs, then me gone for 2 more days was a crazy start.  Erica told me that they really miss their teacher and I can't wait to finally be back with them (100% ready).  I am so proud of how they handled these crazy days and am so blessed by all of my compassionate students.

They sent me this picture while I was sick one day, just to say hello :-)

Learning to discern how to keep serving when I felt this way was a challenge.  Knowing that there are not many substitutes available, I felt like I would be letting the ministry team down if I didn't keep going and come in and work.  God is really teaching me about LETTING THE BODY OF CHRIST HELP YOU and not feeling guilty that you need that help.  There were other teachers also getting sick, and I thought that because I only lost my voice and didn't feel sick being at school that I should just deal with it and try to teach without it.  However, everyday that I continued to go to school was a day that I was not resting my voice.

Psalm 34 - 

Taste and See That the Lord is Good

"I will bless the LORD at all times;

his praise shall continually be in my mouth.

My soul makes its boast in the LORD;

let the humble hear and be glad.

Oh, magnify the LORD with me,

and let us exalt his name together!

I sought the LORD, and he answered me

and delivered me from all my fears.

Those who look to him are radiant,

and their faces shall never be ashamed.

This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him

and saved him out of all his troubles.

The angel of the LORD encamps

around those who fear him, and delivers them."

As I have been recovering at home, I had had more time to spend reading God's Word.  This morning, I came across Psalm 34.  As I came to verse 7, I realized that a friend had sent me this verse earlier this week in an e-mail when I told her I was sick.  God willing, he brought this verse to mind again this morning. As I read through the whole psalm, it brought great encouragement to me.   There is nothing truer this week to me.  I have felt the LORD encamping around me (whether through the body of Christ or time to relax and just get rest), I am so grateful that the LORD hears and cares about each of his beloved children. :-)


Prayers/Praises:
Please pray that I would be fully recovered by this Monday!

Please pray for the marriages of the El Camino families to be lifted up to Jesus, centered on Him, and strengthened by His love.  I often hear of parents fighting or separating, which breaks my heart.  Pray for their children, who endure hearing their parents fight and the emotions that come with them divorcing and separating.

Blessings,
Carrie