Beautiful words by author Tim Keller that have really spoken to me recently: "We are more sinful & flawed than we ever dared to believe and at the same time more loved & accepted in Jesus than we ever dared hope."
I can't believe my first year of ministry is almost complete. God has taught me a lot this year and I want to stop and reflect on two themes that I have found. Thank you for all of your prayer support and your faithfulness to all God is doing in me and in my students. I am so blessed to serve the Lord in this way. The fruit that was born this year is all because of him! Here are my thoughts on this past year.

Elyse Fitzpatrick says, "Failing to concentrate on God's love for us isn't a trivial thing. It will always eventuate in apathetic living. Only the gospel can so invigorate us that we burn with ardor for him in all that we do." (Because He Loves Me)
While reading this book, God has taught me to look at gospel declarations and obligations. They are both important. Gospel declarations say who God is and what he promises for his people. Gospel obligations are what God calls his people to do. Sometimes, I focus so much on the gospel obligations that I leave Jesus out of the picture. I try so hard on my own to live the Christian life by following rules and turning it into a "Do and Don't" list. I needed to connect the relationship between who I already am (in Christ) with how God has called me to live.

My perspective is slowly changing - and I am praying that God continues to form my DAILY IDENTITY to be fully centered on him :-)
Introversion - A lot of missionaries are expected to be these outgoing personalities willing to serve in EVERY capacity and to go to help at EVERY event or to be willing to share/talk about your faith or evangelize EVERY where you go. While I am willing to do these things, God is really teaching me about my own personality that he gave me and how ministry looks like for me. I feel pressure (and my sinful nature causes me to compare to others). Many times, I question whether or not I can do what the Lord is calling me to here in Colombia: balancing teaching, (lesson planning, grading), shepherding students, leading elementary chapel time, time with families, social time with teachers, getting involved in church, time with friends from church, keeping in touch with people back home, blogging to tell all the stories of what God is doing...
I love all of these things, but in order for me to do them all I need some down time to myself to reflect. God is teaching me even more about what it means to minister with the personality that God gave me. I enjoy spending time with my students and friends, but I began to feel horrible when I would opt out of social invitations.
Here are a few excerpts from a book I read last year called Introverts in the Church - Finding our Place in an Extroverted Culture by Adam McHugh that have been brought back to my mind and heart:
- Introverts are rarely content with surface level relationship and do not generally consider acquaintances to be friends. We may find small talk to be disagreeable and tiring. Because we often prefer to spend time in one-on-one interactions, rather than group socializing, our relationships can run deeper. Introverts treasure the close relationships they have stretched so much to make, and will dedicate themselves to keeping them and nurturing them
- The bonds of intimacy are built in the uncertainty of open-endedness and messiness of our process. It's in the process that we are the most vulnerable, and if we allow other that we trust to see those parts of us, we find deeper connections and empathy with each other. We allow others to participate in our decisions, and on the deeper levels, we begin to share our lives with each other and to have our hearts woven together.
- Introverted evangelism looks different. A quote in the book from Eugene Peterson is:
The question I put to myself is not "How many people have you spoken to about Christ this week?" but "How many people have I listened to in Christ this week?"
Praying that next year, God would continue to teach me more about my God given personality and that I would fully invest and listen to the people that he wants me to invest in :-0 Praying that God would open my heart to even closer relationships where we can really do ministry together in the years to come.
Prayers/Praises:
Safe travels back to the Chicago Area on June 4th!!! For a refreshing summer visit back home - that I would be able to balance work/business items that I need to get accomplished and also have time to spend time with my family and friends who I miss so much!
Support raising for year two - please be praying for who God would send to partner with me in ministry for year two. If you are already a financial or prayer supporter, thank you! Please look for a re-commitment card as soon as I arrive home if you are interested in continuing to support the Lord's work here in Bogota.
Possible special education teacher, Geneva, who has expressed interest in coming down next year! Please pray that God would show her clear direction on where he would like her to be next school year - and I am hoping that it includes joining the elementary team to help with special education at ECA!
For the reconciliation of friendships that is going on between students and even parents/families in my class - Praise God!!
That God would give me a fresh vision for how I can be an even better teacher for next year - creative changes are always good :-0
Pressing on,
Carrie
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