Confirmation through Scripture: The question that kept coming to me was, "Lord, where do you want me? Make your direction clear so that I know where you want me to follow. My desire is to serve and follow you, God, so make that path clear for me." For those that know my story, God has made that abundantly clear the past three years. Three years ago, when God encouraged me to step out in faith and move to Colombia, the life of Elijah in 1 Kings were scripture verses that spoke right to my heart. When I prayed about returning for the following years, the words of Esther spoke to my heart saying, "You were called for such a time as this!"
As Pastor Colin Smith recently told us in a sermon, if we want to know what God is telling us, all we need to do is read his Word! This definitely was true for me as I served God here in Colombia these past 3 years. I began to seek his Word again, longing for a clear message from his Word to guide me. When a clear direction wasn't coming, I continued searching with a different focus in mind. Maybe I was searching for too specific of details. With as much as I desired to know specifically if God wanted me in Colombia for the next year, my detailed questions were met with silence. The message I finally concluded that God was giving me was this:
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
You see, God was reminding me that he will use me wherever I choose to be. No matter what ministry I get involved in or stay with serving, God will bless that choice and be with his children wherever they go. It didn't matter if I stayed in Colombia, returned home to Chicago, or ended up some place different. This verse released me from the fear of making a wrong decision and from feeling paralyzed from taking the next steps in deciding. In a sense, God was asking me where I wanted to serve Him. I still didn't know the answer to that question.
Looking for God's Fingerprints:
As I started seeking whether there was a longer future for me here at ECA, the opportunity was presented to me to go back to school and become an administrator for the school. As I pondered what that might look like, I knew the school had a need and that I had to decide whether I was willing and capable of filling it. While I love filling in a need that an organization has, I had never thought of myself as an administrator before. I always saw myself in the classroom with the kids. Knowing that I would probably never use this new degree in the USA if I returned, I decided that it wasn't wise to take on more student loans for a degree that I would really only use at ECA. I decided that while it was a privilege to be thought of in this way, it was something I had to say no to. God's fingerprints were not leading in that directions once I explored what it might look like.
Next, I was approached by my church to come home to complete about 2 years of training and then be re-deployed somewhere else as a missionary. This would include training in church planting and would be using my Spanish knowledge. While I am still processing this and need more information, I concluded that for the time being, I would like to settle back into a teaching job back near Chicago.
When I started exploring the possibility of coming back to the Chicago area, I decided to put my resume out to some of the school districts. I also have talked with people at church about possible ministries I could get involved in if I was back home. God's fingerprints were all over these conversations and opportunities. I have had an interview with a school where God seems to be bringing together my Spanish knowledge and my passion for special needs students. Also, I already see ways I can be involved back at my church in Chicago, which is a wonderful vision to have already.
"For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him." 2 Chronicles 16:9
Lastly, this whole last year I have struggled with being away from my family and close friends. God reminded me when I left for Colombia that He alone is my provider. At times when I would miss my family, Jesus would be there to help me deal with my emotions, feelings, and the sacrifices that I was going to have to make. I learned that these family and friend sacrifices were worth it to be at ECA and this wonderful community of believers in Colombia telling them about who Jesus is. I kept praying and asking God to let me know how long I am supposed to be sacrificing these precious people. I prayed that he would make me willing to keep sacrificing my family and that my strong desire to live and be closer to my family would not be more important that following Christ. After a lot of prayer, my desire did not go away but actually increased. I believe that this is God's way of telling me that my true desire is to be back home and that my time at ECA is coming to an end. This decision has been a difficult one. Leaving the people I have loved for the past 3 years will not be easy. Leaving the comfort and mission that I have poured my heart into these past 3 years makes me think I may not find anything else quite like what I experienced at El Camino. But, I know that God's fingerprints are over my life, guiding me no matter where I go. I am excited to see what is next. With faith, I am moving forward to settling back in Chicago once more.
So, thank you to all of you who have supported me these past 3 years! I will be sending out more information soon about how ending my time at ECA will look for those who have supported me financially. As far as prayers, please cover my transition period in prayer and that I would end my last 2 months here well. I want to finish the work God has for me here with faith.
Blessings,
Carrie
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